Long Covid.
The town of Ulverston in the Lake District was whiter than an episode of All.Creatures Great and Small projected on to a snow drift by a tweed clad farmer scanning the tree line for illegal immigrants.
Naturally the inhabitants of the ninety five percent white Anglo town felt guilty about living in a crime free environment in the beautiful English countryside, just as the cultural engineers behind the psyop hoped that they would! The little town was in line for some.serious cultural.enrichment! it was predicted in various polls that Ulverston would be sixty percent white by 2040,
Gary Loob hoped it happened sooner than that, while he was still young enough to enjoy Keir Starmer's vision for the British Isles.
Gary ran a reggae club called
"Reggae Reggae Source" in the centre of town. His neighbours on either side were a Charity Shop and a Turkish Barbers where he popped in twice a week for a thirty pound beard trim. His girlfriend Joolz who was also his flatmate had pleaded with him to go once a fortnight now as the Club was going through a bit of a quiet spell. Gary just laughed her concerns away and asked his Mother ,who also lived in the town, to lend him the extra dough. He loved talking to the lads in the barbers in between trims and felt that he was building a vital bridge between the two communities with the time he spent there.
Gary missed Covid and felt that 2020 was an all round better time to be alive.
The masks. The furlough money. The ubiquitous hand sanitizer. Everyone respecting the NHS. The compassion. The lock downs. BLM.
It was all like a dissolving dream to him now!
Gary got the latest update of the vaccine whenever it was available.
Once at the barbers the subject of vaccines had come up and Mehmet who was.the owner of the place had ridiculed anyone taking the vax as a "fucking sheep!"
"Listen" he continued.
"The government lies about everything and they always have! Lead. Asbestos. Smoking. Heroin. Cocaine. Downsyndrome. The Ozone layer. Any War. And now they're telling the truth about Covid are they?
What are the odds?
Anyone who willingly took those jabs is a sucker! End of story."
This made the five or so people in the shop either shuffle uncomfortably or shout
"Yes Brother!"
Depending on their vax status.
Gary Loob could feel his ass crack getting squishy with sweat as he moved from one cheek to another in the vinyl barber chair.
As the immaculately groomed barber felt Gary's tension rise like an aura of discomfort transmitted through his busy scissors.
He tried to smooth over some of his more hostile sounding points, for the good of civilization. Some of these English guys couldn't take any rejection or criticism.
They were faggots who didnt know shit about the modern world.
Mehmet wasn't even a Turk, he was a Kurd from Kobane.
In 2014 he had fought against ISIS with the YPG and they had called the siege of his City in Syria "Little Stalingrad." This had amused him at the time as journalists have always got to talk shit about War, just like everything else. They are just paid liars. Journalists. Fuck em.
Gary Loob was getting worried that he may have offended his barber amigo so he tried some tact and diplomacy to get the conversation back on track.
"Turkey is such.a historical marvel of a country." This was of course true.
"Turkish people are some of the most peaceful and honourable folks on the planet!"
The Kurds sat in the Barbers waiting room stared at each other now with raised eyebrows. Gary continued.
"I just wish that more Turks like you could come to our backwards shithole of an island and teach us about tolerance."
Mehmet clipped Gary Loob's beard with frenetic fingers as his PTSD started telling his half destroyed mind that Gary sounded like an ISIS spy and would maybe have to be tortured for information in the back of the shop.
"Gary why would you say such things about this fine country where we all live?"
The Covid fan realised he had made a mistake as he sat vulnerable and exposed in the Barber's chair.
"I,,,I,,,I,,,,didn't mean anythi,,,"
Mehmet heard the mortar shells and the pop pop of AK47s as he saw the glowering face of the Pig God who had a long white beard and was floating like smoke in the shop by the polystyrene ceiling tiles. The Pig God opened its snout and fried.eggs and baked beans oozed out on to the floor, mixing with the multi coloured hair on the red floor tiles. The whore of Kobane had come to.claim him now. She climbed out of the Pig God's mouth. She was blue coloured wearing a necklace of human noses and ears. Every time she spoke black smoke caressed her every word as she mocked him. Coward! You ran to England as your fellow Kurds were slaughtered in the streets. The eyes of the Pig God became like the burning coals of Syrian cigarettes used to torture ISIS prisoners in Kobane, as Gary started to scream from the barbers chair.
Comments
Post a Comment