The Chess Players.

The Socialist Chess Club of Leith met every Thursday evening in the Turkish Barbers Community Art gallery at the foot of Leith Walk.

Maxi Paddock had purchased the Barbers from two Kurdish Brothers with money that his Father had sent him to buy a Range Rover.

The Brothers had fled to Istanbul shortly afterwards and left no forwarding address.

Maxi was a thirty year old Communist agitator and artist from Central London. He didn't believe in bourgeois programming and thought that the white western imperialist needed to be re-educated through small community interactions like the Chess Club followed by fine tuning that would eventually take place in larger camps once they seized power.

Anna Chikatilo was Maxi's partner in the Chess Club and in life. She was a large, formidable trans activist originally from Rostov on Don. She claimed to be a blood relative of the notorious "Rostov Ripper" Andrei Chikatilo. She had been responsible for introducing the strong trans element into the Chess gatherings.

The Turkish Barbers still had the original sign outside but inside rudimentary artworks done by the mentally ill lined the walls. Finger paintings. Spud prints. Ripped up magazine collages. It was as if some chimpanzees and under fives had commandeered the place for their primitive cathartic needs. Maxi finished his afternoon cuppa and waited for Eduardo dos Santos his assistant. Eduardo was from Angola and needed any paying job he could find. Anna had originally discovered Eduardo in a room full of white Bohemians at the Ground Down Pig coffee shop.

She always tried to take a selfie with any black or

brown person she encountered in Leith.

The place was too god damned white! 

At first Eduardo had been uneasy about talking to this truck driver in drag who he suspected might be a homosexual. Well like the saying goes twenty pounds is twenty pounds and he was now running errands for the pair.

He picked up the flyers from Maxi and read one it was something about his hidden genetic wealth which he would be donating soon to African charities. Eduardo was intrigued and licked his lips at the prospect of strong arming this dweeb out of his wealth. Fucking batty boy. Eduardo was a one man African charity. He smiled to himself.

Once Eduardo had given out all the flyers it was late Evening. The daylight in the streets was fading and people sat outside cafes and bars on Leith Walk laughing, smoking and drinking.

Inside the Chess Club were a few blue haired chess enthusiasts who may have been male or female. Maxi was playing chess with a local socialist who had heavy facial tattooing called "Champagne".

He saw Eduardo enter and smiled.

"Excuse me Champers dear boy." He said to the chess playing skinhead as he left the chess game to greet his African employee 

"Eduardo mate, how is it going? Did you deliver all the flyers like I asked?" He held out his limp hand for Eduardo to shake.

"Yes boss, I've been pounding pavements all day long, I just got finished"

Eduardo thought he sensed a sneer at the corners of Maxis mouth.

"Good lad, right let's have a drink."

Maxi went to a cupboard and retrieved a room temperature bottle of Orange Tango.

He poured two mug fulls and handed one to his employee. Eduardo gratefully necked the flat soda in one and wiped his mouth with his hand 

"Thirsty lad! Do you want another?"

Maxi went to refill the mugs.

After the pair had sunk a couple of Tangos Maxi asked Eduardo if he wanted to see his

"genetic wealth"?

Eduardo nodded vigorously as the pair left the chess room and made their way to a staircase leading to a flat above the shop.

When they got to the top of the staircase Maxi produced a key to let them inside. The entrance to the apartment smelt of a musty dampness like the inside of a tent that had been put away wet.

Maxi led them through to the kitchen and turned on the light.

"Do you like milkshakes my friend?" Asked the upper class revolutionary.

Eduardo shook his head and licked his lips as he looked around wondering where his soon to be aquired wealth was hiding? Money? Gold? Jewels? He was getting butterflies thinking about the big house he was going to buy out by the sea at North Berwick.

Maxi opened the fridge and got out a long tupperware cup with a lid. Inside there appeared to be the milkshake as promised. He handed it to Eduardo who peeled off the lid and sniffed the contents "strawberry" he said before gulping down the strange tasting juice.

The upper class tranny loving Marxist smiled and started explaining his vision to Eduardo.

"My African brother you know the struggle better than anyone. You have travelled many thousands of miles to arrive at this moment in time. To be here with me now. I am the Messiah you may have read about in story books as a child. Through Socialism and non binary persuasion I am founding a new religion with myself at the helm! Communism! Fascism! Liberalism! All these dead ideologies are just fads in time. I am the immortal leader of cosmic chess thinking. The billions of roads lead back to my over worked hand! Behold my genetic wealth!

Maxi flung open the doors of the American fridge to reveal jar upon jar of a white viscous liquid.

"This is the semen of a superior being collected over a twelve month period. You have now drunk my DNA in your milkshake so you are initiated!"

When the penny dropped and Eduardo realized he had been unwittingly schlurping down this nerds cum in a milkshake, he fell to his knees and started puking all over the ragged kitchen carpet.

"Eduardo with my new foundation I am going to add so much cream to all that African coffee!

We will abolish racism once and for all!

I've got enough juice in here to produce an army!

The art happening on the flyers that you helped advertise was supposed to introduce the world to my new ideology before it can be stopped by lesser men!"

Once Eduardo had brought up ever last drop of the deluded dweebs trouser cream, he went on the offensive. With dark muscular arms he grabbed this collapsed Lidl deck chair of a man and started waterboarding him with his own spunk!

Eduardo opened bottle after bottle and poured it down the Marxist perverts smashed in bloody mouth. 

"Just like Wimbledon"

"Strawberries and Cream".

Said the Angolan avenger to the genetic terrorist as he lost consciousness on the dirty carpet.